Losing someone you love is painful and it can be a challenge to deal with the upheaval which bereavement creates. For some it's simply a case of moving on and readjusting; however for many people the upheaval of dealing with the grief can go on for far longer than you ever expected, with feelings and emotions appearing for no logical reason.
A song on the radio, a particular food, a smell or a sound can bring back memories, some happy, some sad. But for many these memories are tainted with the feelings of stress, anger, guilt, sadness and many more that the loss has created.
Add into this the conflict that may come from the aftermath, and very quickly a person may feel overwhelmed and forget who they really are, or who they were before their loss.
Grief is normal, and everyone copes in their own way
Putting on a brave face can only work for so long, and this in itself can add to the pressure if it's not what you really feel deep down.
Maybe you've been prescribed anti depressants or have chosen to find comfort through other means, such as food or drink. The difficulty is that these help numb the feelings, or make us feel good in the short term, but once the effects of these have worn off, the bad feelings are still there, and so it becomes a vicious cycle of feeling bad and distracting, and overall you may feel trapped, held back and unable to move on.
But time passes, one, two, three years pass and you even start to feel normal again and begin to consider that maybe this loss won't scar you for the rest of your life. But then one day out of the blue, something reminds you. A song, a smell, a place or a photo and it touches that nerve, and without warning all those feelings and emotions surface again.
To find out more, call me on 01772 499046, or email me by clicking here.
How does Hypnotherapy help me move through bereavement, grief and loss?
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to remember a loved one without having the negative feelings, to be able to remember the happy times, because despite how you currently feel, there were times of happiness?
Difficulties happen when we get stuck at one particular point such as anger or depression, and if left, this stuck feeling can last for years. Through Hypnotherapy we help you clear the emotional blocks so that you can move forward with your life and at the same time you'll learn ways to help deal with unwanted emotions
The stages of grief and loss
There are many definitions about what grief is. I believe that grief is the period of time that it takes for our brain to finally accept that someone's gone.
Grief is when everything in your body, your mind and your entire being keeps bringing you back to the time they were still alive, and it can take a long time for your body to let go of that. One of the hardest things of all can be to let go, or to give yourself permission to let go of someone you care about and love.
When it comes to moving on and learning to live with our loss, there are several stages of grief that we generally go through, and it's healthy to go through them all. But at the same time our grief is as individual as we are, and there is no such thing as a typical loss. You may take one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process.
- Denial - "this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or acting as if they are still living. There may be little or no crying, and not accepting or even acknowledging the loss can be a normal reaction as this allows us to get through the day and handle only what we can handle at that particular moment.
- Anger - "why me?” feelings of wanting to fight back, or anger at the deceased person for leaving them. Anger is an important emotion and by feeling our anger instead of bottling it in, we can release it and this helps us to move forward.
- Bargaining - Attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, and praying for them to come back, and we can get lost in the perpetual cycle of “what if…” and “if only…”
- Depression - After the bargaining stage we come more into the present and can begin to experience overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning the loss of the person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. These feelings can leave us feeling empty, a lack of control and feeling numb. This depression is an appropriate feeling and isn't a sign of any mental illness, although we may feel it is.
- And finally onto acceptance - there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. Our goals turn toward personal growth and it's when you realise that life has to go on. You may still have thoughts of your loved one, but less intense and less frequent. It's at this point you can accept your loss. You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future, and these goals turn toward personal growth. It may take some time to get here but you will.
What's the cost per session?
The cost per session is £60, with each session lasting around 2 hours.
How can I pay for treatment?
Payment is per session and can be paid in cash, debit card, Visa or MasterCard at the end of each session.
What's the next step?
If you've been locked in grief or loss and are ready to let go then why not contact me and see how Hypnotherapy can help you.
Should you have any questions about hypnotherapy and how I can help you heal from bereavement, grief and loss, then please call me on 01772 499046, or email me by clicking here.
Summary of servicesChris Gelder Hypnotherapy
Finton Doyle Accountants, 107 - 109 Towngate
Professional help to cope and move heal from bereavement, grief and loss.